Haven't wrote in a while. Been focusing on some projects and networking with people etc. The funnest part of being me is writing or saying shit for no apparent reason and people seem to accept it. My whole life I've always gotten away with saying what I want to and people will go “Oh, that's just Mike!” It's a gift and not a curse. At all. I love having that ability. It almost feels like I'm one of those vampires on True Blood and I just glamor people. Except I'm not hypnotizing them for secks, I'm just saying ridiculous shit and they are ok with it. So I guess this ridiculous piece of story writing will be a little bit about our Cleveland trip and whatever else randomly pops into my head as I freestyle this blog.
The reason for the trip was to attend the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to, mostly because I loved the 2 people getting married more than anything. I was so happy to see them unite and I have to tell you, there is no better party than a bunch of Puerto Rican's and Filipinos making a union. People that come from Islands, no matter what Island, generally have the most fun in life. See Hawaii, Samoa, Ireland etc. All people that come from islands know how to either drink, dance, fight, or all of the above which makes for an awesome time.
DAY 1 IN CLEVELAND: lolz our hotel had a map of the greater Cleveland metro area in the lobby, so I wrote on the map where East 99th street was “This is where you might find me slangin some yayo.” I'm sure someone will see that later and get the joke. Good times.
DAY 2: Wedding. It was fun. Good times. Can not elaborate. Too many shots. With Puerto Rican's and Filipinos. But I do vaguely remember a speech telling me that the Caraballo's are the best. And I totally agree. FACT! (inside joke for the Infante/Caraballo fam) the rest of you will not get it and that's ok.
DAY 3: Recovery. By recovery I mean we went to our cousins house, had another party and played this game called “Corn-hole” and drank some more. I felt like a legit retard because not only was I the only person in the house that never heard of this game, but usually when I hear the word “Corn-hole” I think “Protect your anus!” but this game was much funner than getting ass raped. It's a game where you stand like 30 feet from a wooden platform and throw beanbags. You have to hit the hole or you lose. We played for shots and push-ups. I did a shit ton of shots and push-ups. My cuzzin Tam takes this game as seriously as I do fantasy football so you have to show up. Good times.
DAY 4: The Zoo. Anytime you get to watch animals do funny shit it's a lot of fun. I saw this one moneky doing sign language to a weirdo that kept staring at him and if my sign language is correct, he was calling him a complete fucking idiot in Monkey. Good times.
DAY 5: Mall day. We spent like 7 hours at my old favorite mall. While all the women and children were shopping, I went and got a massage from this Korean dude named Kim. I think all Korean dudes are named Kim though. Anyway, he was spectacular. I don't even care how gay I sound for saying this. I wanted to marry him, take him home with me and boycott Chick Filet.
DAY 6: Recovery Day 2. All we did was sit around and I played that UFC game on the PS3 with my cousin for like 8 hours straight. I also realized that I am getting really fat on this trip. The Filipinos have a fiesta like every day. It turned me Manorexic. Since I've been home for the past 2 weeks, all I've eaten was 2 grapes and an almond.
DAY 7: Well I'm already fat, so why not go to the 2 best restaurants in the world in the same day. Our cousins Dal and Kim took us to eat at this Japanese buffet that had all the sushi you could possibly create. Pretty much if we had gone to Fuji's here in Fort Smith and ordered the same stuff that I ate at this place, my bill would have been 874 million dollars and 12 cents without the tip. It is pretty much what I imagine heaven being when I get there. We later hit up Siam cafe, but on the way we stopped at my cousin Glen Infante's ILTHY Shop. I know some of you have heard me talk about ILTHY(I Love The Hype)....but it's really blowing up. I'm so proud of Glen. He started this fashion company on the intrawebz and now he has his own shop on Detroit Ave and he has superstars stopping by on the reg just hanging out and kicking it(cough cough Joe Haden and Alonzo Gee). He's only gonna get bigger and to me, he's already made it. Y'all be sure to google “ILTHY” and check out some of his designs. His pre-fall collection is about to bust open, so get on it. It's spreading all up and down the East Coast, and even Lebron James has plugged it.
DAY 8: Water Park day. When I got to the water park with approximately 15 of my family members, including Melissa and Mariah of course, I totally forgot I had a family. I was like a little kid when he sees an ice cream truck. I just bailed ass and hit up the wave pool and played that washing machine game where you just go limp and let the waves kick your ass all over the wave pool. It ruled. Also I got a 7th degree sunburn. I looked like Hellboy when we left that bitch.
DAY 9: Oh, not enough sun on Day 8 eh? So we go to a very nice beach on Lake Erie and have another family day. It's our last day of celebrations, so we made the most of it. I don't remember a whole lot because I'm pretty sure I had sun poisoning and received even more umm sun poisoning, but I do remember that the kids were playing with a beach ball and the wind caught it, so I swam after it. That beach ball was such a shit head. It just kept blowing with the wind. Before I knew it, I was like 7 miles out in the middle of Lake Erie and I was cramping. I've always taken pride in being a strong swimmer and the only other time I felt like I might drown, was when we crashed our raft in Costa Rica in level 5 rapids. Lucky for me, I'm so good at being lazy, I just floated on my back all the way back in. I'm still alive at this point. But I scared the fuck out of little kids by the time that day was over.
So that was pretty much it. We had a great trip. I basically just let my mind wonder for the last month....got rid of the kidney stones. Enjoyed my favorite cousins wedding and tried not to think about anything too important because shit's about to get real again on Monday. School is back and so is my stress.
Be sure to google my cousin Glen's Ilthy page. Again, Congratulations to my favorite people in the world on their sacred union, Nate and Yessenia Caraballo Infante. The only marriage that would make me happier is if George Clooney and Denzel Washington got married and named their kid George Washington.
Don't forget to check out Jeff Ross's new show on Comedy Central, “The Burn”....it premiered Tuesday night and I thought it was a nice little lolz fest personally. And it will only get better. He's gonna push the envelope like a retarded mail man. And please believe Sons of Dads is still moving fwd. Progress is made in the trenches, and that's where we're at.
Keeping it realer than a gay dude that still couldn't resist those delicious chicken nuggets at chick filet on No Gays at Chick filet day!
