THE SONS of DADS CREED/MISSION STATEMENT

This is to assure that we keep shit the perfect amount of real and continue to climb the ladder of success. Some of us will be tempted to keep it WAY too real, so we have to make sure the perfect amount of 8.0 real will be kept at all times.

OUR HISTORY & BACKGROUND

Sons of Dads (SoD) is a comedy troupe consisting of one ex member of the actual SEAL Team 6 that killed Bin Laden, and by SEAL Team 6 member I actually mean 32 year old, father of 1 that married a chick way hotter than me and I'm a full time student in a BSN program trying to become a male nurse or "Murse" if you will. I also work, so I have less time than Hey Mon from "In Living Color"...

to make this shit happen. Other members include a legit ex Army Sniper who could blow off a mosquito's ball sack in Minnesota from a tree stand in Georgia. He is also a father of a little boy that's his mini-me and expecting another one with his lovely wife Lacey. We also have a black guy which is awesome. Oh, he isn't just any black man, he's a Black Militant, Pistol Packin, Kill Whitey type of black man who only likes me because I told him my great grandpa was black. Other members include Aaron "asscrack" Woods who used to wake up every morning and sit on his couch in his skin tight boxers and scratch his nuts while eating Lays potato chips on the reg. I'd be watching Sportscenter and he'd offer me some chips. I always declined for obvious reasons. Robbie Garrison is quite the character. He hates everything and everybody but for some reason he loves to laugh. So normally his laughs come at others expense. He's mean spirited and I love him for it. Like if you were in the cafeteria and dropped your tray in High School, Garrison would be the one to stand up and give you a standing ovation while saying "You can just sit that anywhere!"....then we have J-Scoggs. A High School football coach who has matured with age but is still funnier than shit. He's been known to act up at 2 AM while we're all sauced up (and he's totally sober) and he'd race his lawn mower up and down his long ass driveway, also popping wheelies which was more amazing than watching a polar bear ride a tricycle, forcing us to laugh for hours. One time I legitimately pissed my pants. I mean not a lot of piss, but a few drops came out. That did happen . He's also very brilliant as in giving drunk chicks rides home (Being a gentleman because he was always the DD), except he'd use their cars to drive them home, (forgetting we didn't have our own vehicle)  leaving us to walk 17 miles home at like 4 in the morning. He rules. He'd also put on a football helmet without a facemask and do a very uncanny Ace Ventura impression. Justin is one of the most legitimately funny people I have ever met. Sometimes I just look at him and start laughing because I know he's about to do something so hilarious, that it can't be explained. You just have to see it to appreciate it.

RULES and REGULATIONS 

Every group has rules. These are ours. If they are broken, probably zero fucks will be given.

RULE 1: Bro's before Hoes. Unless of course it's damn near 2 AM and Garrison has a chance of getting a blowie from some skank at Las Margaritas. Then he can do Hoes before Bro's. Me and Tommy don't count. We have balls and chains to answer to.

Garrison can break any rule he wants because he's Robert fuckin Garrison.

RULE 2: Tommy. That's the rule. It's just “Tommy”! You know why? Because he'll fucking kill you. Dude is like Jason Bourne except with a sense of humor. So Rule 2 is just  "TOMMY!"

Here is a picture of Tommy and his lovely family so that you guys understand he's a very lovable/likable guy. He clearly married up, so you know he's a good dude or he'd have an ugly wife. Keep that in mind as you read our shit, if Tommy can sell her on marrying him, he can sell you on laughing at us. 

RULE 3: My name is Mike. My professional name is R. Michael Hicks the 1st in case I blow up and make it big time. BUT until then, just call me Mike. My first name is Raymond. I don't go by that. And when a mother fucker calls me Raymond, I blow it off and I understand they can't help it, because it's on the paperwork/ whatever....but it's when they call me "RAY" when I just want to start kicking them in their left ear with my right fucking foot until their ear drums stop working. It brings out a rage in me that I can't explain. "Oh, you don't even know me enough to call me mike, but all the sudden you're cool enough with me to call me Ray?" FUCK YOU!

And here is a picture of me and my beautiful wife. Same as Tommy, I married up and this has to tell you that I'm not a complete dick. The only reason  hot chicks marry guys like us, is because we are funny. Here is proof of that.

 RULE 4: Marquis Johnson aka "Mickey Slayer"...that's his stage name which suits us better for our comedic goals. Lets face it "Marquis Johnson" sounds like a black baseball player in the major leagues. BUT Mickey Slayer sounds like some guy that will do whatever it takes to you know, get it done. Like stab people with spoons and shit. I realize his name isn't really a rule. But I'm running out of rules. So Rule 4 is just gonna be Mickey Slayer. Oh and one time Mick snuck in some dark liquor on Karaoke night in Iraq and did one of the best renditions of "Purple Rain" I've ever heard. My Man!

This is a picture of Mick pretending to be the black Tom on Myspace so we could start our own Myspace for black people. Turns out they already had one of those and our venture failed miserably. 

RULE 5: Aaron Woods has to stop pulling his fucking shenanigans. The next time he says the word "Shenanigans" I'm taking his ass out back and pistol whipping him. 

RULE 6(I think): No being mean to people that think our shit is whack. We are way classier. You tell them "Thank you for your opinion" and then cough a quick "go fuck urself" it should sound like "ahhuhgofukurself ahut ahut" Something like that. SoD will have class and manners at all times. So please be an example to others. 

RULE 7: As far as comedy goes, we have no boundaries and we're not even sure how far we'll take it. We will definitely do these blogs on the reg. From this, we gain material for future projects. Me and Tommy have already planned a sketch that's in the works. We have guys like Justin Scoggin.........

Who has worked in comedy clubs and has that experience, and he can play the guitar. So we're gonna write a song together. BET. So basically we want to set up our website to allow us to do our sketches, jokes(and I'll youtube my first stand-up performance of course) and hopefully we'll continue not only freelancing for other comedic agencies, but one day we'll be the agency that people bring their shit to, to put on the platform. We have a great mix of personalities that all get along and I think we make a great team. Our dreams may come true sooner than expected the way things are going, but stick with us. Be there from the beginning and please believe we will remember who our fans and supporters were. I'm no longer selling SONS of DADS to you, it's up to you not to miss out on what we're about to do. 

OH, FEW MORE THINGS.....

This is one of my best friends, Zane...choking the shit out of another good friend, Filipino Jay. I can't remember why I have this picture in my photobucket account, but I thought it was awesome. I think Jay might have smoked Zanes last cigarette or something. 

and of course...my pops and one of the true inspirations for SONS of DADS. Because of him, I have 32 years of comedy to share with the world. Like the rest of our members.

ONE LAST THING/ BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST: SONS of DADS is a work in progress and in infant stages although we're starting to walk a lot faster than the crawling I expected. We all have a shit-ton of friends who will make guest appearances. Sigi Milerski for one will join in for example. My Iraqi friend Jonathan who now happens to be fulfilling his commitment to the US Army will be a huge asset. He's a genius with animation and anything concerning film and graphic design. Once he's aboard, we can go to the moon for real for real. WAP 100 will do an intro song for us once our website is ready. It should be ironic and pretty hilarious. Big Thangs! 

But most importantly, the one guy in this world that truly inspired me to try to take this comedy thing and make a living out of it, I have to not only mention him, but give due credit. We spent many nights arguing (in a good nature of course) by him saying I'm funny enough to make money doing this and with me countering by telling him he's crazy. He dared me to get on a stage and find out. I told him that would never happen. Well it's gonna happen now Bro. My Road Dog, Best Friend and now Angel in heaven, helping to keep an eye on me and opening doors faster than I can walk through them. You always asked me how I did some of the craziest things you'd ever seen, but didn't have enough guts to go up on a stage and tell a few jokes? Well the more I think about your spirit, the less reasons I can find to not face that fear.


Trent Vinson: Thank you my dude. You are the legend that brings all of us SONS of DADS together. Thanks for being my best friend while you walked this earth and thank you for speaking to me through my dreams. Because every time someone laughs or smiles, it's an action that makes me think of you. For as many things as you are remembered for, I remember you most for laughing at my jokes and encouraging me to do something I love to do. And that's jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes........