I Run Fast and Go Hard. So buy me an Audi, Bitch!

When I was getting recruited HARD by DeVry and ITT Tech my Junior and Senior years of high school in the late 90's, they had this booster named Lil Zachary that offered to buy me some Converse High-Tops with the star on the tongue, and 2 for 1 tickets at Blockbuster anytime I wanted to go. But I turned that bitch down, because I'm classier than you. 

So "Lil Luke" spent the last year rigging "Da U" up with IED's and yesterday set them all off simultaneously. That's slang for, "The University of Miami is Fucked!" A lot of college football fans seem to be happy about this, they are hating on the swagger. BUT, if they hate Florida and don't want to see Florida State dominate again, they better hold up on the pointing and laughing for a while, because if Miami gets decapitated, that's gonna open up the flood gates in the 305 for the Gators and FSU.

We'll probably watch both schools go on to dominate the rest of the next decade or so. Even schools like Central Florida which have already been on the come-up in recent years will step to that next level with the 5 or 6 remaining studs coming out of South Florida that UF and FSU passes up. I don't really see anything good about Miami getting the death penalty. Whats even worse is I know for a fact that every major college program has a "Lil Luke" catering to the elite stars coming in. Maybe not to that extreme, but one would have to be very naive to think it never happens at "Your School"! There is no simple or quick solution to this problem, but in the last 8 months or so, we've watched 2 powerhouses brought to their knees(tOSU/Miami) and with today's mass media and hungry sportswriters wanting to drop the next bomb so they can get their shine on Sportscenter, no one is safe. Shit, I was thinking yesterdays story was gonna end up being about Auburn or more possible violations by Ohio State when Yahoo announced a while back that they would eventually drop the biggest sports story of the summer. I had no idea Miami would be implicated. But now we have USC in the shitter(which doesn't really bother me all that much), Ohio State and Miami....AND Oregon is on the ledge right now too. If these powerhouses keep dropping, who is gonna give a shit about College Football. If LSU wins a National Championship in the coming years while 15 of the best schools in the country are on probation or perma-banned, how terrible will that feel? It's like being the slowest runner in the 100 at the Olympics, but winning because the other 7 people got scratched for a false start. Yeah you won, but you know it's not because you should have.

THE SOLUTION 

There really isn't one. But in my humble opinion do this. 1.) Keep track of the jersey sales for individual college players. Most superstars of a respected program sell the most "numbered" jerseys. For every jersey that gets sold, give them a dime or something. Maybe 14 cents, I don't know. But they should be paid for the exploitation. This will take care of the real star attractions that are feeling like they are "owed" money, and rightfully so. Only about 5-8 guys will have their Numbers on sale at Champs anyway, those are the ones that are pretty much shoe-ins for the NFL. Pay them what you are making off of them. If 80,000 fans buy Andrew Luck's jersey, he should get paid about 8-10 G's. Now he's on full scholarship and he's getting almost 10 thousand extra dollars to help take care of his family(if he has one) and buy extra groceries. The 2nd tier players that are important to the programs success but not necessarily stars should get a huge increase in allowance and again, any percentage of money being made off of them as an individual, by the University. Every player should get an allowance based on their family needs, for example, if player A has 3 kids already and he's a major contributor to your defense, he should get at least $1,000 dollars per kid as an allowance, another(lets say 2 million for a wife to keep that bitch happy, naw, just playing) but another couple of thousand to keep the family afloat. It should also go by contributing factors i.e. a starter should get a little more than a non starter. I mean, it's a cruel world, but winners tend to make more money. What better place to learn that than college.

If you are giving the Big Timers enough of an allowance to get by, this stops the argument that they are just broke college kids starving to death. Then the shitty players won't really be affected because Lil Luke ain't trying to buy Rudy a new car.

NO, this may not stop the illegal benefits completely, but what it will do is not make the NCAA and the Universities look like such greedy assholes, and give them a reason to drop the hammer when bitches act up like Miami just did. Regardless of what you think, it's not fair to pay a Cam Newton the same amount as you pay Cam Johnson(who is Cam Johnson? Exactly!) Most players know where they fit in and know their value. Also throw in some stipulations like you do in the NFL and fine them when they fuck up. College is all about preparing you for the next level, right? Why not make the experience a little more real, especially when you are living fat because you got the best studs to come to your school in 2011. Pay those studs their monies, it really only comes down to decimal points as far as taking money out of the Boss's pockets. If you pay every player on your team $10,000 plus the full scholarship, you are only talking about an extra 1.4 million a year or so. You make that selling hot dogs or gumbo in the pregame. AND you really don't have to pay everyone 10G's, only the studs that are gonna get it one way or the other.

I could go on all day about this, but I'm not trying to write a book like Yahoo did yesterday about Miami! 

Peace, and hook me up with some Heat tickets, court side because I hit way harder than you. 


DISCLAIMER: Andrew Luck doesn't really need 10 G's, dude is rich already, but I used him because he's a beast!