Lets go bum rush the 7/11, homie.

Me, my Grandma and 38 of your cousins are about to come do a flash mob on your house and steal your DVD/VCR player and your Playstation 3 with your brand new copy of Madden 2012.

So this "Flash Mob" shit is getting pretty ridiculous. If you haven't heard about it, it's either because you aren't white and paranoid, or you are too rich to shop at quickie stores and probably live way too far from the hood. But just because they haven't flash-mobbed the BP station in Strongsville or the Chevron in Bel Air, doesn't mean it won't happen because quite honestly, it's the most sophisticated robbery I've ever seen go down on Youtube. Who would have thunk that if you wanna knock over the Circle K, all you need is like 45 of your friends(and most of them you don't even have to hang out with on the reg, they can just be acquaintances) to dress the same or wear something over your heads, and bum rush that bitch for all the ciggies and beer you could hope for as long as you do it under 90 seconds. What will the police do? NOTHING. They'll call it a wash and do a press conference about how weak your grandma is and she needs to be protected more than your local Shop-Rite. You'd probably have to do it 3 Fridays in a row before they start breaking down the video and trying to guess who the ring leader is. Then you just say "Wasn't me, but I heard about this happening in Maryland. Terrible thing." Then you just start driving to DeRidder and start robbing them.

Really I almost hate to make light of the situation. But America was founded on the Mob Mentality. If you don't like the way things are being done, you form a Mob and rebel against whoever happens to be charging you taxes. This is really no different than anything our Forefathers did about 240 years ago, except they weren't stealing Slim Jims and 40's from 7/eleven. And they were fighting for something more important. And they all had long, fake, powdered wigs and wooden teeth. And there wasn't any cameras. And they had Paul Revere ghost riding a Brown Mare named "Brown Beauty" yelling out "Them British fags are coming, lads!" whenever he saw the Red Coats(The Brits were claiming a blood set obviously). 

And there wasn't any Arabs that owned gas stations back then. And those retards would all stand in a straight fucking line about 50 feet from the enemy and just take turns killing each other.

Oh, don't bother taking cover when the guy in front of you gets lit up, you just need to step up and take your licks like a man. Then after about 25 minutes of trading shots with the enemy, you either retreat or you run into each other and start a "Rumble" like the Greasers and the Socs in the 1950's until you get tired, then you pull back and wait for the next battle. 

Thank God Mel Gibson came out of retirement and taught those idiots how to hide behind trees and shit. 

But other than a few huge issues, flash mobbing gas stations and fighting in the Revolutionary War are pretty much the same thing.

So if you want to participate in a flash mob say, next weekend or so? I'm down. Just get with me and we'll work out a time. The worst that can happen? We'll get peppered in the face by some fat as shit cop that's having an asthma attack at the very site of our vicious mob. Best Case: We score a shit ton of free Funions and Orange Mountain Dew before they take it off the shelves for the winter. 

I flash mob way harder than you do and I five finger discount anything I want with 70 other people!

DISCLAIMER: I really don't support any mobbing, flashing or other(Except of course for Ice Cube and Da Lench Mob). Also, even though CT lost last night, he did get his "Blast On" with Johnny Bananas and Tyler. And Tyler said he had food poisoning which was a total lie. What he had was a bruised up pancreas and 2 ribs poking into his intestines from CT's Torpedo!